I never thought the cancer would have taken a back seat and almost be forgotten about until 26th July 7.10 am. This was the time when the phone rang and I  was called into hospital to say Tracy had a 50/50 chance of making it.

Tuesday prior she was ambulanced in after the unexplainable stomach pains since starting chemo took on a whole new level and after a night of extreme pain it was confirmed her bowel had perferated. Emergency surgery followed at the same time that her white blood cells where dropping post chemo.

I won't paint a nice picture or say that it will be allright because there isn't one to be painted and it's not.

Unconcious and supported by every tube, drug and antibiotic you could fit into her tiny 5ft nothing body I just looked down at her and cried.

Should I write this for all to see? To be honest I don't give a fuck.

How do you prepare your 7 year old for the fact that her mummy may go to be with her dear friend Kerry who passed away last year to be with the angels in heaven?

You find a way. You get up in the morning, you deal with what the day throw's at you and you go to bed and then pray this brings you one day closer to this all being over.

10 days on and my girl has dug in. She continues to fight and yes emotionally she has been hit hard but our little family still hang's on in there.

PLEASE GOD....  no more now.

To Tracy and Evie I will never give up, I will be here for you always. Lxxx